Thursday, February 25, 2010

Maui!

Wanna come to Maui? my sisters says.
Okay, I say.

Snorkel kit, kid's size large (that should fit my feet), $30
Switch timeshare from Las Vegas to Maui for 1 week stay, $60
Swim with dolphins, $100
Flight to Kahului, Maui, $600
Getting Lei'd, priceless.


Countdown 79 days.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

"I Can Multitask Like No Other"

Remember that scene in Father of the Bride, when the guy gives his fiance a blender and she freaks out, thinking it's a derogatory message of how women should stay in the kitchen? I don't remember it being that difficult to talk to and understand the opposite sex when I was a child. Yet, somehow in the space of a few years our manner of communicating goes down different paths till we've stopped at opposite sides of a chasm. For some people, at least. My sister is currently having this problem and keeps coming to me.

Boy meets girl
Boy wants to be friends
Girl wants something more
Boy and girl hang out
Boy treats girl like the best thing in his world
Girl thinks boy is afraid to admit he likes her as more than a friend
They hang out every weekend, during the week, with no one else
Boy doesn't call one week
Girl wonders what she did wrong and cries
Girl is grouchy all week and cries often
Boy calls
Girl is happy
They hang out at her apartment
Boy talks to the roommate
Girl wonders what she did wrong and cries
Girl is grouchy all week and cries often
Boy calls and texts
Girl is happy
Boy texts picture he found of a turd
Girl wonders what he means-is the turd what he thinks of her? of their relationship?
Girl texts boy and says he's a moron
Boy texts girl and says she's grouchy
Girl texts and calls boy an ass
Girl is tired of being a grouchy bitch
Girl talks to sister
Sister laughs and agrees that boys are morons sometimes
Sister tells girl the boy just thought it was funny and wanted to share
Sister reminds girl of the scene in Father of the Bride
Girl asks why sister can understand boys so well
Sister says "I can be grouchy bitch and moronic ass at the same time. I can multitask like no other."

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Wingardium Leviosa to my Spirits

For years I have been saying it and now it's coming true, though certainly not because of me. They are finally building a Harry Potter land! It isn't opening until Spring of 2010, no set date as yet, but that's only a few months away. I want to go exploring Hogwarts, see Dumbledore's office, the Gryffindor common room. I want to stroll down Hogsmeade and get sweats from Honeydukes or joke items from Zonko's. I wonder if they would sell a good mug of butterbeer.

I got bored and tired of work on Thursday, tired of a job that has little fulfillment or enjoyment itself. I enjoy most of the people I work with, but I have no desire to spend the rest of my life on the phone with Dentists that demand the world revolve around them. My mind wandered to better prospects. I could dress up everyday as a witch. I would wear robes and carry a wand. Probably most jobs there wouldn't require you to wear robes, but I would if I could! Or I could dress up as a character-how about Bellatrix!? For an afternoon I pondered my prospects. But ultimately I woudn't want to live in Florida. And besides, their dress code is ridiculous. I would only be able to wear one ring per hand. I can't give up my soul and it's on the hand with the ring I never ever take off, unless that day I am feeling particularly disgusted by raw meat and I don't want it on any of my rings despite washing my hands frequently afterwards.

But for part of a day I dreamt about spending most days in the world of Harry Potter. It was a pretty good dream.

Monday, February 8, 2010

"I Want That Belt!"

I have always been a movie quoter. When I was younger and had more free time on my hands and fewer responsibilities it was easier to be the Queen of Quotes, with the ability to quote and recognize any quote from any movie I'd seen. Since I've joined, reluctantly, the adult world, I've gotten lax in my ability. But there are some movie lines that will forever epitomize my childhood.
~"Come for me G'mork, I am Atreyu!"
~"Err. Lizard! Who you calling lizard? Your mother was lizard. Keep walking hero, don't even turn around."
~"They say Aslan's on the move."
~"Starcruizer crash."
~"I told the truth, Lord. How can I learn any moral lessons, if you keep confusing me?"
~"You have no power over me."
~"You were named after the dog?"
~"How do you get so big eating food of this kind?"
~"I'll bring the dip if you bring the dostoevsky."
~"Guns, you're going to shoot guns at me?"
~"Density has bought me to you."
~"Mr. Stubbs, Mr. Stubbs."
But one quote belonged solely to my sister and I. "I want that belt." From a classic cartoon my brothers didn't watch with us. Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer. My sister found the movie online and ordered it. So yesterday we got together and watched it for the first time in years, singing along with Starlite, Rainbow's horse, as he sings "Wake up flowers, I've been up for hours, there's work to do" to issue in spring. Laughing as the greedy princess strokes her pet emerald and demands for Rainbow Brite to give her the special belt, source of all her colorful powers.
Ah, childhood.