Well, I'll Be

Funny about how as kids you don’t really think about which parent you are more like. I grew up hearing that I looked like my mom, but I also was always told how messy and disorganized I was like my dad, who had also taught me to be the avid reader that I am-losing myself to the world around so I wouldn’t even hear someone talking directly to me.

As kids it was like this: my brother Davy and I were the most alike. We looked like our mom but we were probably more like my dad and his side of the family. We were FREAKISHLY energetic, all over the place and going going going, loudly and obnoxiously. We were impulsive and social and had lots of friends but definitely had a lot of people who didn’t like us b/c we were so social and therefore they would try to bully us. My brother and I were messy and disorganized and didn’t think things through. We were always in the moment.

My sister Jeanne and my oldest brother Jerry Ray were alike. They looked like my dad, but were like my mom, organized and responsible. They were quieter and focused on keeping things in place and organized. They took care of everyone else and were the nurturers. They protected the younger siblings. They didn’t have as many friends, but they were respected and well liked and had very few problems with people.

My middle brother Art wasn’t like anyone else.

Suddenly as an adult I am finding the pairings we had as children no longer fit. I am more apt to think things through before speaking, I am less inclined to be social and energetic until I have assessed the situation first. I still have bounds of energy when I am comfortable and with people I know, otherwise I have to reel it in. I am also becoming more organized and clean. I still love the clutter in my work area, the chaos and noise it brings to my surroundings calms my ever-going brain, but I am not dirty and I do not like dirty, I want things organized and efficient. I visited a friend's home and it was messy and all I could think about was wanting to clean and reorganize it because it was not set up efficiently. Obviously I couldn’t do that so I went home and deep cleaned my entire bathroom and organized my room. Who does that? My mother and my sister when she was younger and Monica Geller. I think things through, more so than is ever necessary. I plan every little detail and think of all the possibilities so I can plan for them. I am not so impulsive any more. I want to be able to rely on something, to know I can count on it and not be so whimsical. I am calm and rational and more like my oldest brother now. My oldest brother is 8 years older than me and I used to not know so much what to say to him. Now we get along really well. The rest of the siblings come to us for advice. When did I become my mother? That’s not insulting; she is an amazing woman, but it is very surprising.